Remembering A Legend & A Friend

I wrote an article for CamelClutchBlog.com about my friend "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, who passed away two years ago today. You may read it by clicking here. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 12/27/11 (Friend Edition)

This week's award goes to two women who are not only IFBB fitness and figure pros, but friends of mine as well: The lovely Johnson sisters, Tanji (left) and Safiya (right).

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 12/18/11 (Porn Star Edition)

This week's award goes to adult star Kristina Rose.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 12/11/11 (Porn Star Edition)

This week's award goes to one of my favorite porn stars, Joanna Angel. Oh, have I told you I might be writing video game reviews for her website, BurningAngel.com? No? Well, I might be.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 12/5/11 (Wrestler Edition)

Credit: AprilHunter.com

This week's Hot Chick goes to former nWo girl and current professional wrestler, fitness model and centerfold April Hunter.

Touch Me, I'm Going to Scream. Okay, I won't. Maybe.

Dear billions of fans, as you can see, I've haven't posted a hell of a lot on here lately, save for my weekly "Chicks in Socks" entries. I've had some serious writer's block, and simply can't think of anything interesting to write about. So, I ask you to please help me out. I want feedback on what you'd like to see me writing about. Want another top 10 list of some random crap? A movie review? Something about video games? My swollen right testicle? Okay, maybe not that last one. Anyway, everything except my nuts and my wife's ass are open for discussion. Okay, just my nuts. But not really. If you want to hear about my nuts, I can discuss them. So, one of you billions must have some kind idea of subject matter, so please leave me some feedback and let me know. Not only will it give me some ideas, but it satisfies my need for constant, unbridled and enthusiastic attention. Leave me some comments with ideas, and I will see if they are up to my incredibly high moral standards, and therefore worth discussing. Go. Do it now. I'll wait.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 11/27/11

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 11/20/11

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 11/15/11

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 11/6/11

I've never actually seen a chick work out dressed like this, but I think it's a fantastic idea.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 10/30/11 (Porn Star Edition)

Once again, the award this week goes to adult starlet Tori Black. Not only does Black get the award again this week due to being very good looking, but also because I simply had more than one photo and wanted to use them both at some point or another. Can you look at the picture and argue against me? Didn't think so.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 10/23/11

I suppose if you're going to take the time to put on thigh-high socks to do push-ups, you might as well also strip down to your underwear to show them off. Right? Does that even make sense? Does it need to?

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 10/16/11 (Celebrity Edition)

This week's celebrity Hot Chick In Tall Socks is Canada's own Carol Zara. Zara runs DigitallyBlonde.com, and is a regular contributor on G4. Plus, she's a hot, nerdy redhead.

My Game Shelf: Shadow of Destiny (PSP)

I've actually owned this game for a long time-at least 2 years-and just now finished it. There wasn't any real reason for this; I've just simply gotten a ton of games since getting this one, and it kept getting put back further and further on the to-do list as a result. However, I've finally finished it, so now it's time for a review. This review will be rather quick though, as, in all honesty, it didn't take me that long to play.

My Game Shelf: Bullestorm (PS3)

If you know me outside of this blog, you know that, when it comes to video games, I'm not a big fan of FPS (first-person shooter) games. It's not that I think the games are bad; aside from crap like Call of Duty and Battlefield (yes, I said it; screw you, I don't like them), I actually think a lot of FPS games are really cool, especially sci-fi story-driven ones. No, the reason I don't like most of these games is because, in all honesty, I really suck at them. I don't know what it is about these games, but I just suck, suck, suck when it comes to playing them. It's because of this that I was hesitant to pick up Bulletstorm, the subject was this review. However, after some pretty high praise from at least two Game Stop employees who happen to share similar game tastes to mine, I decided to pick it up.

I was not disappointed.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 10/11/11

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 10/3/11

What is it about a girl in socks and underwear? I don't know, and I don't care. I need to find a pair of these for the Mrs. She has some in green, yellow and black, but no red yet. Have to check with American Apparel.

My Game Shelf: Red Dead Redemption (PS3)

This one has been put off for too long, as I finished the game a few weeks back (I got the game for Christmas last year, but that's another story for another day). So, now that I've got a another review to write (Bulletstorm), I figured I might as well get this one out of the way so I don't get further behind. This week, we'll be looking at what many called "Game of the Year" last year, and one of the all-around finest pieces of work put together by Rockstar Games, Red Dead Redemption.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 9/25/11

This girl's wearing knee-high tube socks and showing her butt. What more do you need to know?

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 9/19/11

I'd like to know where this chick got these socks. They're sexy as hell. I'd love to get some for my wife.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 9/12/11

You know, I have a hard time thinking of clever or witty descriptions for this column every week. So, from now on, unless I can think of anything to say, expect these descriptions to be very basic. Anyway, enjoy this lovely brunette in her red-striped tube socks.

Drawings of Pee-Pees and Wee-Wees: "Damned" by Chuck Palahniuk

Okay, so before I get too far into my first book review, I should probably explain the title of this column. For those that might not be aware, Seinfeld is one of my all-time favorite shows. It's one of those shows that I can watch over and over and never get sick of. As a result, I decided I wanted to name this column after something in the show. One of my all-time favorite performances on the show was in the episode entitled "The Library". Actor Philip Baker Hall plays Lt. Bookman, a veteran library police officer. After tracking down Jerry due to an overdue book, Bookman utters one of the funniest lines ever on the show (and a great reading to boot):

"Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again."

And thus, "Drawings of Pee-Pees and Wee-Wees" was born. Okay, now that that's out of the way, onto the book review.

A little over a week ago, I was given the chance to receive a free copy of Chuck Palahniuk's latest novel, titled Damned in advance, provided I do a review for it. This book won't be released for at least another five weeks to the general public, so I jumped at the chance. Palahniuk just happens to be my favorite author, and I own every book he's ever written, including both non-fiction works. Although some of Palahniuk's works are better than others, I have yet to be disappointed with a single one of his books.

I can tell you right off the bat that Damned is no exception.

My Game Shelf: L.A. Noire (PS3)

So, I've been putting off reviewing Rockstar's latest hit game for a week or two now. Why? In all honesty, I've just been lazy about writing. That's all. No other reason besides that. However, I've got the time right now, so I think I'll finally get it out of the way. Partially because I want to, but also partially because I'll be finishing another game shortly and will want to write a review about that as well. Anyway, enough of that, onto the review of L.A. Noire.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 9/5/11 (Porn Star Edition)

This week's Hot Chick In Tall Socks goes to another porn star. This time, the lovely Tori Black earns the award. Resembling a naughtier Natalie Portman (at least, in some of the pictures I've seen), Tori Black is, in my opinion, one of the most gorgeous women in the business today. Here she is in some sexy striped thigh-highs (my favorite style).

10 Cult Classic Wrestling Gimmicks

With wrestling gimmicks, you never know when something will hit or not. That's one reason why, over the years, there have been so many stupid, offensive, or down right horrible gimmicks; because wrestling is a strange business, and sometimes, the weirdest things can get over with a crowd. Look at the Undertaker. Here's a guy who took the awful, awful gimmick of an undead mortician and, thanks to the crowd taking a liking to it for whatever reason, has remained in the top tier of the WWE for nearly 25 years (not that I like the Undertaker, but that's another story for another day). While that was a gimmick that was intended to get over, there have been many others that really weren't. Yet, despite it all, have become favorites among many long time fans and have also enjoyed a pretty decent amount of success.On that note, I present 10 of the best "cult classic" gimmicks that were probably never meant to get over as well as they did. While I normally rank these lists, I found it a little hard to decide who ranked above who and why. Instead, I am just presenting them in no particular order. Again, it's my blog and my list, so I'll do what I damn well please.

1. "BLACK MACHISMO" JAY LETHAL
The list starts off with the most recent cult favorite out of all of the entries you will see here. Jay Lethal was another X-Division wrestler in TNA not really going anywhere. He had all the in-ring talent in the world, but seemed to be missing something. Then one day, after receiving a blessing from no less than the late "Macho Man" Randy Savage, "Black Machismo" was born. Lethal, a long-time Savage fan, studied Savage's mannerisms, moves and speaking style until he had everything just right, and man, did he hit the nail on the head. Jay Lethal had an absolutely perfect Randy Savage impression down, even to the gravely voice and fried hairstyle. While this gimmick was probably only supposed to last a couple months, Lethal was so good in the role he ended up keeping it for a few years and developed quite a fan following in the process (as well as a handful of TNA titles). On top of that, Lethal proved he had natural charisma when given the chance to show it, and would later wind up also doing a somehow even funnier Ric Flair impersonation (dubbed "The Black Nature Boy" by some). Seriously, if you haven't seen Lethal's Flair impersonation, look it up on YouTube. You won't be sorry.

The Illustrated Man, Part 19: Green Lantern (Updated)

I also had the Green Lantern ring touched up today. Hopefully, the green ink sticks to my skin better this time. Touch-up courtesy of Chase Martines at Brave New World Tattoo in Denver, CO.

The Illustrated Man, Part 6: Snake Eyes (Updated)

I just had my Snake Eyes tattoo updated yesterday. After 10 years, it needed a serious touch-up. I had it given a fresh coat of color, as well as some additions. Touch-up/additions courtesy of Chase Martines at Brave New World Tattoo in Denver, CO.

Top 10 Current WWE Entrance Themes

Writing lists are fun, relatively easy, and almost always make for some good debates (especially with people I know and talk to regularly). Even more fun than that are wrestling lists, as there's always going to be people who disagree with you. I've done a few in the past, both for my blog here and for columns over at Camel Clutch Blog and I've always gotten pretty good feedback, so I figured, what the hell, I'll do it again.

Throughout the years, wrestling has seen a lot of very memorable and catchy entrance themes. The WWF/E has especially always had some great themes. Although most of the best themes you can recall have all been written or at least produced by the extremely talented Jim Johnston, wrestlers in the WWE have also been lucky enough to be afforded licensed music thanks to Vince McMahon's deep pockets, as well as songs produced by the aforementioned Johnson, but performed by various actual bands.

While the great ones over the years are far too numerous to mention in one top ten list, what are the best ones used by the WWE today? While it seems like the great entrance themes are becoming few and far between with each passing year, I still managed to scour the roster and pick out what I consider to be the top ten best current themes.

10. "Gold-Lust" by Jim Johnston (Goldust)

Goldust has been in the WWE off and on since 1995, resulting in him re-inventing his character on numerous occasions. However, his entrance music has always stayed the same. Sure, there have been a few tweaks to it here and there, but overall, it's been the same song for the last 16 years. The song fits his character so well. Although he started his gimmick as a movie buff and it was designed to sound like the theme from a Hollywood movie (if you listen closely, it sounds very similar to the theme from John Carpenter's Halloween films), he has kept it with every tweak to the gimmick and it has never, ever felt out of place. It's dark and mysterious, much like the Goldust character itself, and it completely fits his eccentric personality. I almost didn't include this one due to Goldust seemingly retiring earlier this year, but due to him hinting at a return to the ring once his shoulder is healed, it makes the cut. However, since his future is not 100% certain, it gets the #10 spot.

My Game Shelf: 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors

So, it's been a while since I've posted a game review. Not because I've been avoiding gaming. Far from from it actually, as I game nearly every day. No, the reason I haven't done one in a while is because, I'm working on so many games simultaneously, which has resulted in me not finishing games in a faster time frame. However, I did finish two games within the last week or so-L.A. Noire (which I will review the next time) and the one I'm writing about here, that being 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors.

999 is somewhat of a rarity on the Nintendo DS system in that it is an M-rated game. As you DS fans know, games on the popular handheld that are rated Mature are few and far between. Based on the fact that these games are so rare, I figured that it would probably be worth a look. I picked it up from Game Stop a few months ago, as I'm a fan of point-and-click puzzle/adventure games (other examples include the Ace Attorney series and the highly underrated Hotel Dusk: Room 215), which is exactly what this one is. Generally, this style of game on the DS is pretty good as the system works very well with the game style. Although I would love to see these types of games on consoles more, the DS still has a great library of titles in the genre (with the 3DS also looking at a good lineup over the next year. I picked a 3DS up a couple weeks ago, BTW, and aside from the lousy launch titles available, the system is pretty damn cool), so I'm happy.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 8/28/11 (Porn Star Edition)

This is a pic I've had for a while. I was going to use it on my other site for a different blog, but never wound up using it. So, I figured, what the hell, I'll use it here. As you can see, it's porn star Lauren Phoenix wearing knee-high tube socks with a pair of boy briefs and little else. There's something sexy about women who wear men's underwear, and it's even sexier when combined with the tall socks.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 8/21/11 (Porn Star Edition)

Okay, I admit it; I like porn. I'm a guy. Sue me. As a result, you will occasionally see porn stars get the "Hot Chick In Tall Socks" award (don't worry; I only use non-nudes for this award). This week's award goes to Jenna Haze, one of the most glamorous-and most popular-porn stars in the business today. Here she is from a recent shoot, looking good in knee-highs with roller skates.

Why I Almost Gave Up On Being A Writer

(Note: Names in this entry have been kept anonymous out of respect for the people involved.)
 
As most of you probably are not aware, a few weeks back, I was offered a paid writing gig as a blogger for a certain sports-related website (which I will keep anonymous). I have a friend who makes his living as a full time webmaster, and this particular site is one of the sites he works as a webmaster for. Anyway, the site was about to lose one of their bloggers for not performing up to snuff, and the owner asked this friend if he knew anyone who was interested in getting paid to write for her site. I had just gone through the "Rayne Storm 2011" thing over at Camel Clutch Blog, so they informed the site's owner about it.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 8/15/11 (Wrestler Edition)

Going back to my 10 Unsigned Femal Wrestlers List (which is still my most popular blog entry yet; thanks, readers!), I'm going with another wrestler for this week's award. LuFisto, who is a personal favorite of mine, gets the nod this week. Although she is not the most glamorous female wrestler on the planet, she is still a good-looking woman who's cuteness is matched only by her sheer badassery in the ring (seriously, check out her work sometime).

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 8/7/11 (Wrestler Edition)

You know you want me

You can't take your eyes away from me

I'm the hottest thing since sliced bread

When the boys see me, they turn red 

Those are the opening lyrics of former WWE Divas Champion Jillian Hall's hilariously bad WWE entrance theme, intentionally sung hilariously badly by Ms. Hall herself. Since I did a top ten list of unsigned female wrestlers, I figured that, what the hell, I'll give the award this week to one of those wrestlers and decided Jillian would be a good choice. I've always had a thing for Jillian (she has really nice legs), and she's looking pretty damn good here in her knee-highs. Enjoy!

I'm Featured on Wheelhouse Radio (The 2nd Podcast I've Been Featured On)!

My boss Eric at Camel Clutch Blog and Jeff Peck from Wheel House Radio hosted their weekly podcast, The It's Still Real To Us Show earlier tonight, and Yours Truly was discussed, specifically my "war" with Madison Rayne and (more specifically) her fans that I lovingly call "Rayne Storm 2011". The entire podcast can be listened to by clicking right here. Go download it, listen to it and enjoy it. Many thanks to Camel Clutch Blog, Wheel House Radio and WrestleChat.net for featuring the story and continuing to support me as a writer.

RIP Bubba Smith

While I am not a sports fan by any stretch of the imagination, I always liked Bubba Smith as a person. He seemed like he would be a genuinely nice guy, and after his NFL career ended, he took to acting as many athletes do. Surprisingly, he had a niche for being very comedic, and was famous for appearing in every Police Academy movie as "Hightower", and did a very good job. However, my favorite Bubba Smith moment was from the episode of Married...With Children titled "All Night Security Dude" (season 5). Smith played the character of "Spare Tire" Dixon, an old football rival of Al Bundy's. The scene in this blog entry is the one I'm talking about, as Al and Spare Tire have quite possibly the funniest football scrimmage ever seen.

RIP, Spare Tire. You will be missed.

Gym Rules (If I Owned A Gym)

Okay, so I don't own a gym, but in all honesty, I'd love to own one some day. Hopefully, if I can ever make enough money, I can make it happen (it's one of several businesses I'd like to own at some point). However, with my gym, I will have a very specific set of rules that will be followed, not to mention that I will be very selective as to who will be able to work there. Hey, it's my gym; I can do what I want. Anyway, if/when I do get the opportunity to own a gym, these are the rules that I will put in place, that gym members will be expected to follow explicitly.

The Top 10 Unsigned Female Wrestlers (Who Should Be Signed)

Today, I was thinking about all of the different female wrestlers out there, and how there is so much unsigned talent in that regard. We get garbage like the Bella Twins and Alicia Fox to *ahem* "wrestle", while women who actually love to wrestle and are quite good at it remain toiling on the indy circuit for years, some times for their entire careers. I realize that the WWE and TNA want women who look like TV stars and are about the size of toothpicks, but you know what? Actually wrestling fans don't want to see that anymore. We get crap like the aforementioned Bellas and Fox while women with actual talent such as Kharma (come back soon!), Natalya, Beth Phoenix, Tamina and A.J., despite working for the top wrestling company in the world, are rarely ever given the opportunity to showcase their abilities. It's no wonder why many wrestling fans don't take women's wrestling seriously. However, there are things that can be done to change that, starting with hiring some other very talented women. I present the top ten unsigned female talents who either TNA or WWE could benefit from by signing.



10. LUFISTO

Starting at number ten, we have a woman who has been toiling on the indy and international circuits for nearlyy 15 years in LuFisto. Although she is not as well known as some of the other women on this list, her talent can not be understated. She is exceptionally tough, being the first woman in history to win CZW's Iron Man Championship (essentially a hardcore title), competed in CZW's notorious "Cage of Death" (a match normally reserved for men), and also became Queen of the Deathmatch by winning the first deathmatch tournament of any kind ever held in Canada. Now, before you go writing her off as nothing more than a hardcore wrestler, the girl can get it done in the ring. She has taken numerous top female wrestlers to the absolute limit on many occasions, including Sara Del Rey and Cheerleader Melissa/Alyssa Flash. And, on a personal note, she is very good-looking, in a "girl next door/I'd love to hang out with this chick" way. You want a good-looking woman with talent, LuFisto fits the bill.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 7/31/11 (Celebrity Edition)

This week's hot chick in tall socks is an author, actress and correspondent for The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, the beautiful Olivia Munn. She can be seen in the pic above, wearing thigh-high white and blue striped socks. Thigh-highs are my favorite, so it was easy to give Olivia the award for the week. Plus, she's hot, and she's funny. That's a trifecta of awesomeness. Add in the fact that she's a nerd and the trifecta of awesome just became, um, I don't know, a quadrant? A quadrant of awesomeness? Yeah, that's good.

The Illustrated Man, Part 26: Assassin's Creed

This is my most recent piece (done between my pecs). In the last couple years, I have become a huge fan of the Assassin's Creed game series. It's just so incredibly well done, from the characters and environments to the story and how much research was done for these games. Although they are works of fiction, they are heavily based on actual events, persons and places, and the amount of effort that went into the research for the games is staggering. Anyway, because of my love for these games, I wanted to get a tattoo based on the games, but more unique than just taking a picture and copying it. So, I took the symbols for the Assassins, the Templars and Abstergo Industries and had them put together into one piece, basically representing the two warring factions throughout the series. On a side note, this tattoo was the most excruciating pain I've ever experienced while getting tattooed. Although I'm very happy with how the tattoo turned out, I don't recommend getting inked in this spot unless you have either a very high threshold for pain, or you are just dead set on getting inked there. Tattoo courtesy of Chase Martines at Brave New World Tattoo in Denver, CO.

The Illustrated Man, Part 25: Tibetan Skull

This was my 25th tattoo, and I had it done on my right forearm. The only real story behind this is my artist drew it and I said I liked it. His shop was in the process of having their 10-year anniversary and had a camera man come in to film a DVD for the anniversary. He needed someone to tattoo, so he offered the piece to me free as long as I agreed to be filmed. I had absolutely no problem with being filmed and am never one to turn down a free tattoo, so I said sure. The end result is this badass Tibetan Skull (the blur is just glare from the ointment I had on it). Courtesy of Chase Martines at Brave New World Tattoo in Denver, CO.

Hot Chick In Tall Socks Of The Week: 7/28/11

As those of you who read my other adult blog, you may know that I have a big, BIG thing for chicks in tall socks. My wife happens to be one of those chicks (she owns many pairs), and it's one of many reasons why I love her. As it turns out, there are tons of people who share the same love of chicks in tall socks, and surprisingly, it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with porn (although there is a world of porn featuring chicks in socks, and it's all just terrific). So, I decided to share my love of girls in socks with you, not only because people love pics of hot girls, but because this should hopefully increase my millions and millions of readers to billions and beyond. Now, without further ado, I present the first entry in a weekly (or more, if I feel like it) series I very cleverly call the "Hot Chick in Tall Socks of the Week". Enjoy this week's entry, a lovely black-haired chick in some sexy red over-the-knee socks.

The Illustrated Man, Part 24: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams

As I stated in a previous blog post, "Dr. Death" Steve Williams was a hero of mine and a man I considered a friend. I'm not going to repeat the entire story (but you can read all about it here), but sadly, he is not with us anymore. After thinking about it for about a year, I decided I wanted to honor his memory by getting a tattoo done of his name and years of birth & death. I had this done on my right shoulder earlier this year, and it is the most meaningful tattoo on my body. I see it every day and it always reminds me of how great he was, and that I need to cherish those memories forever. Courtesy of Chase Martines at Brave New World Tattoo in Denver, CO.

The Illustrated Man, Part 23: Ace Attorney Sleeve

I have always wanted a sleeve tattoo, so last year, I had one done on my left arm, around the pieces I already had. I chose characters from the "Ace Attorney" game series on Nintendo DS. It's one of my favorite games, and I chose my favorite characters and icons to make up the sleeve. It features Phoenix Wright, Trucy Wright, Apollo Justice, Godot, Miles Edgeworth, Franziska von Karma, Mia Fey, and the speech bubbles for "Hold It!", "Objection!" and "Take That!" Tattoo courtesy of Chase Martines at Brave New World Tattoo in Denver, CO. Below is a closer look at each part of the sleeve.

 Phoenix Wright

Trucy  Wright and Apollo Justice

Godot

Miles Edgeworth

Franziska von Karma

Mia Fey

Hold It!

Objection!

Take That!

The Illustrated Man, Part 22: AEon Flux

For tattoo #22, I decided to go with the logo from AEon Flux on the right side of my neck. It's a cartoon I've loved for a very long time, and to this day has one of the best logos ever. I had just gotten the complete series on UMD for my PSP, so I took the box in as inspiration. My artist happened to be a huge fan of the show, so he was very excited to do the ink for me. In fact, he says this piece (which he has featured in his portfolio), has gotten him a lot of business over the last three years since it's been done. Tattoo courtesy of Chase Martines at Brave New World Tattoo in Denver, CO.