Gym Rules (If I Owned A Gym)

Okay, so I don't own a gym, but in all honesty, I'd love to own one some day. Hopefully, if I can ever make enough money, I can make it happen (it's one of several businesses I'd like to own at some point). However, with my gym, I will have a very specific set of rules that will be followed, not to mention that I will be very selective as to who will be able to work there. Hey, it's my gym; I can do what I want. Anyway, if/when I do get the opportunity to own a gym, these are the rules that I will put in place, that gym members will be expected to follow explicitly.

GYM RULES

1. No working out barefoot or wearing open-toed shoes of any kind. This includes those dumbass "Skele-Toes"-type shoes.

2. No cell phone use of any kind in the weight room (cardio room is okay, as long as you're using the equipment). If you need to make a call or text, go outside or to the locker room.

3. Pick up your weights and put them away when you are done with them.

4. No laptop or portable DVD player use in the weight room. If you are so hell-bent on doing P90X workouts or something similar, do them at home.

5. No running in the gym, unless you are on a treadmill.

6. Wash yourself prior to coming to the gym. No one wants to smell your disgusting B.O.

7. If you don't know how to properly use the weights/equipment, DON'T USE THEM.

8. If you plan on doing "circuit training", be prepared to share the equipment. Just because you're doing 10 exercises at once doesn't mean you can monopolize 10 pieces of equipment. 

9. Absolutely no working out in street clothes. This includes jeans, slacks, polo shirts, button-down shirts, jean shorts, loafers, crocs, or any other type of shoe that is not designed for athletic use. 

10. No grunting just for the sake of hoping people will pay attention to you.

11. If you make a mess on the equipment (i.e. sweating), clean it up.

12. If you leave your things in a locker overnight, they will be disposed of. 

If you can not follow these rules, I reserve the right to terminate your membership.